I grew up in a sex-positive house. My parents weren’t skittish about sexuality, nakedness and sex education. My mom was a nurse in the labor and delivery unit, which gave her an appreciation for female bodies and how incredible they are. My dad was a marriage and family therapist and psychologist; he talked about sex and relationships for a living. He embraced open communication about sex — nothing was off-limits.

As a young girl, I remember feeling embarrassed by the huge Vargas coffee table book my parents had out on display. But I was also curious — often sneaking peeks at these beautiful naked women. It felt illicit even though my parents clearly weren’t concerned about me seeing it. Now, as an adult, I’ve created a similar environment in my home. I want my children to feel comfortable with their bodies, with sexuality, and to be well-informed so they can be safe and empowered.

To be a positive influence, I want to be educated. Even though I grew up in a sex-positive home, I still have a lot to learn about sex education and how race, gender and socio-economic factors influence sexuality. One of the best ways I can do this is by reading, and thankfully there are many amazing books that can help us normalize conversations about sex.

Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoksi: When I asked on Instagram what your favorite sex-positive books are, this book came up again and again. I agree with you! This is an incredible book that talks about female sexuality, the science of arousal, sexual desire and so much more. It’s a very informative but accessible read.
Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good by Adrienne Maree Brown: I think this book is phenomenal and so important. This book has poems, essays and profiles — all of which explore pleasure in various forms. It’s about reclaiming pleasure, especially for Black women. I loved it so much!
Naked At Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex by Joan Price: This book is a wide-ranging discussion about sex as we age. It focuses on sexuality, intimacy, sensuality — it’s a way of reclaiming sexual pleasure when middle-aged and older. However, I think it’s a brilliant, insightful book for people of all ages.
Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire In The Age of Consent by Katherine Angel: Angel takes us through how consent, desire, arousal, and sexuality have been portrayed in our culture and how that conception needs to change. These topics are complex and nuanced, and Angel does a fantastic job exploring them from varied perspectives. There are a lot of thought-provoking issues about vulnerability, agency, power and more.
We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib: This was a beautifully written memoir about Habib’s insights into being a queer Muslim and coming to terms with your identity when you’re dealing with issues of race, gender, sexism, discrimination and religion.
Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon: This is a fantastic sex education book aimed at all different variations of queer women but is so fluid that it can also apply to everyone. It’s such a well-researched and inclusive book. I can’t recommend it enough.
The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor: Sonya writes about how social change and cultural transformations start with radically loving ourselves and our bodies. It’s about how oppression wreaks havoc on our bodies and how we can fight against that. It shines a light on varied body types and how we can be more open to their differences.
Trans+: Love, Sex, Romance, and Being You by Kathryn Gonzales and Karen Rayne: This is an all-inclusive guide for those who are transgender, nonbinary, gender-nonconforming or gender-fluid. It’s filled with helpful resources and personal stories. I think this book makes a great starting off point for learning more.
Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power by Audre Lorde: Lorde argues that eroticism has been taken to mean sex only but should be understood as the vitality of life. Like Pleasure Activism, it argues that things that we enjoy in life should be shared as erotic. Let’s embrace eroticism and stop shaming it.