Learning to not care what other people think is a hard skill that most people spend a lifetime trying to master. It’s challenging to not let outside voices and opinions, social anxieties and judgments cloud our minds. It’s actually pretty human to have all those thoughts, and you should never be hard on yourself for having them, but instead treat yourself like a friend and be kind—developing an inner narrative to counter that is healthy.
In a perfect world, people would generally agree with our choices, understand us and wouldn’t say cruel things. Alas, our world, as we know, is not that. So it is important to ensure that we don’t deprive ourselves from experiences, jobs, projects and just the overall life we want to lead based off of people’s opinions about it. What a shame that would be! Think of the potential, dreams and stars you could reach. Our contributor, Jenna Wohlwend, is here with tips on how to not care what others think of you or your side project.
When I first started my blog, I thought, “Oh sheesh, when I have to take pictures of my outfit on the street, everyone is going to think I’m weird,” or “Welp, I’m sure these people will have some negative opinions or judge me on my content.” But I knew that was not enough to keep me from trying. And I’m so glad I listened to my inner voice and blocked out caring about what other people thought. It resulted in huge career growth, boundless opportunities and amazing experiences. In hindsight, would I ever trade any of that for some Regina George side comments from people who I either don’t know from Adam, or frankly don’t care about? Nope! I’m so happy I made the choice and took the leap I did.
However, I am fairly good at compartmentalizing other people’s opinions and thoughts about me or my choices. I don’t love the idea, of course, of negativity directed at me, but if I really believe in something, that worry can be easily trumped by my passion. And I have a few bits of advice that have helped me really evolve and feel comfortable in this way of thinking. But I know this takes practice, so read on and know, you have a support system from me and the Glitter Guide team!
Create A Stronger Opinion
I’ve said this time and time again to many people and it’s something that isn’t always understood, but it’s part of the key to my success on this type of thinking. I create a stronger narrative and opinion, one that matters to me and I believe in it. So, instead of worrying, “Will I look stupid? Does this sound dumb?” I switch it to “This isn’t a stupid project or thought to me. I think it’s important and I don’t care what someone else thinks about that.” It can sound a little like, “I’m just out for myself,” but in actuality, it’s not. You can still value other people’s thoughts, but master taking them with a grain of salt, and instead, become your own cheerleader.
Focus On All The People Who DO Support You
So many times in life, we overthink the negative and forget to feel grateful for the positive. You will inevitably have people around you and in your life who are proud and supportive of your side project or ambition. Lean into those people when you need help or a kind word. Always appreciate and focus on the people who love you instead of those who don’t.
Be Able To Put Jealousy Where Jealousy Belongs
People have a tendency to be jealous of things they want to do/wish to do or don’t understand, without realizing it. Sometimes cruel thoughts and words stem from that. Don’t give this the energy it doesn’t deserve. Let it be.
Know It Isn’t Always About You
To the previous point, sometimes a person’s mean words, judgemental opinions or Debbie Downer attitude root from something that has nothing to do with you. They are having a bad day, going through something, are in pain, feel insecure—you never know. So approaching their commentary with more empathy and a little love might just be the recipe you need to find peace in the scenario.
Focus On The Goal
Mute the noise! Focus on the outcome and the goal! And let everything else around you fall by the wayside. When you keep the goal in mind, it lets you easily compartmentalize the negative.
Love Your Decision
When you do, you don’t need other people to!
Shake It Off
Sometimes things will get to us, no matter how hard we focus. When they do, switch gears quick and shake it off. Literally. Turn up loud music and dance, go for a run, go to Zumba, go to yoga—just break a sweat because shifting focus to your body instead of your mind can help you regain your balance.
Care Less
I heard someone say this once and I loved it. Just care less. Sometimes, it really IS that simple.
Work Hard
Give everyone a reason to hush (though understand you will always have critics), but just make sure you do work that you love and are proud of and really, nothing else matters. Put the effort into it. Side projects are usually started to help feed your soul anyway. This is a personal journey, keep everyone who can’t support it out of it!
Turn Negative Feedback Into Positive Feedback
Sometimes you can learn a lot about the negative things people say. Don’t read too much into it, but when things are presented constructively, that may not necessarily be a bad thing. Learn how to filter what is good feedback and what is bad and you can also find some gems of advice or opportunity embedded in there.
Some of this advice will definitely need practice, but it’s a good start to understanding how to really move past things that can inhibit your potential. It is wonderful to be thoughtful and caring about other people and their opinions, but it should never come at a cost to you, your happiness and your personal growth. It’s good to be tough, to accept the compliment, to be proud of yourself and to showcase your talents. Don’t let anyone steal your sparkle and know if your side project doesn’t work out, TRYING is a success within itself. (And I have a lot of experience on this mindset as well from my days of auditioning for film and television in LA!)
Good luck, you’ve got this, and we’re cheering for you from the sidelines!
Jenna Wohlwend is a content strategist at a tech company in San Francisco and runs her own lifestyle blog, Jenna Rose Colored Glasses. She has her B.A. in Broadcast Journalism and loves karaoke, reading, cooking and traveling with her husband.
