It’s a thought that creeps into my mind sometimes. It’s happened over dinner, while watching a movie, mid-conversation and even at work. The thought that our phones are redirecting our time, energy and connection with those we love most is coming up more and more. Just a quick Google search of literally typing “phones, relationships” flooded my browser with tons of articles and stories. Most of us aren’t blind to how today’s technology affects our marriages, significant others and even friendships, but here are a few ways to check yourself and your relationship in regards to your phone usage.
You feel distracted during one-on-one time.
If you’re sitting at dinner with your spouse, partner or friend and all you can think about is whose texting you or what emails you’re getting, it may be good to think about how this makes the other person feel. I can tell when I feel like I’m not fully engaged or listening because of what’s happening on my phone. Whatever notifications are going off, they are not as important as whatever the person across from you is communicating to you.
You’d rather scroll your feed or check your notifications than sit in silence.
Whenever there’s a lull in conversation, it’s a better instinct to ask a question or even just let the silence be, rather than immediately checking your phone. I think we can get uncomfortable with silence or not being stimulated at all times, but having breaks or pauses in conversation is natural—let it happen!
You feel the need to respond immediately.
Most things in life don’t need an immediate response. If you see a text pop up and you’re with someone, let it be and answer it later. It will mean so much to whoever you’re spending time with.
You don’t set boundaries with work.
The blessing and curse of being a millennial is having the world at our fingertips, this also includes your boss and all of your responsibilities. Since we’re so reachable all the time, “9-to-5” work hours aren’t really what they used to be. Without putting your job at risk, try sifting through what’s actually a priority when you’re not in the office for the sake of your relationships.
You can’t choose one screen at a time.
I’ve been there. Working on my laptop, watching Netflix and also scrolling my phone. Honestly, typing that out sounds really sad, but oftentimes, it’s how our time is spent. Try choosing one screen at a time to not further distract you from what’s really important.
You should also read My First Time Experiencing Burnout And How I’m Getting Through It, and Artist Jen Ament On How Personal Growth + Failure Led To Finding Creative Magic!
